Sexy time, for the first time with him

Sexy time, for the first time with him

Sexy time, for the first time with him

Did you put the heat on? Cause it’s getting hot in here (so take off all your clothes), no seriously it’s getting hot and heavy, and he want’s you in the nude, but you’re thinking fuck I’ve changed my mind. Or maybe you’re already naked. Who knows.

I’ve got three rules that you shouldn’t do when it’s sexy time with him for the first time.

1.    Do not be semi-nude and rude – I swear to god if you’re going to wear hardly anything, let him buy you drinks all night, go to his house to have sexy time and then suddenly you’re the Virgin Mary. Pray that his balls don’t go blue because that shit hurts.  #NoBonerZoner

2.    Do not take him home for a tea party – Let’s be real, you’re pretty smart so if you’ve sucked his face all night and invited him over for coffee, it’s not the time for a stitch and bitch. If it’s a one night stand, leave the coffee for brekky.

3.    Do not expect a boyfriend – You’ve had the most amazing night, and you can’t stop thinking about how selfless and caring he is, and before you know it you’ve planned the wedding… To marry yourself. Trust me, honey, you need to stop breaking your own heart.

And if you can’t decide if you’re a rampant rabbit or gods child head to this bloggers post, It’s got the low down on when to go home with him, or without him. https://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2013/08/the-straight-girls-guide-to-one-night-stands/

Sexy time, for the first time with her

Sexy time, for the first time with her